Aren’t we all missing a bit of our wings? August 26, 2010

Butterfly that had a narrow escape...from something!

I was out watering the garden this morning, when I spotted this butterfly(an Eastern Tiger Swallowtail…I looked it up!)  on one of my butterfly bushes( they’re not called that for nothing)….and I couldn’t believe my eyes. This beautiful little critter was missing almost half of one of his gorgeous wings, yet was flying around and feeding on the blossoms as if nothing had happened. Obviously, something had…this gorgeous creature had a narrow escape from something…I hope it wasn’t at the paws of my cat Muffy, who I try to keep inside but is very cagey at slipping out around your legs..

This butterfly is also missing a bit of her wings...

 It made me think of many of us(all of us?) who walk around…missing part of our wings in one way or another…lost someone dear to us, going through a divorce(even getting millions of dollars as Elin Nordegren would tell you, doesn’t heal a hole in the heart-though it doesn’t hurt), have a child who’s really sick or really unhappy(as my friend says, you’re only as happy as your least happy child), lost a job, losing your home,  worried about aging parents….the list goes on and on. 

 I doubt you’ll pass anyone today who is totally happy and completely secure…that’s the aura most of us like to transmit…and many of us do it quite well. Yet we all(yes, me too) have that little thorn in our heart about something…a little bit of our wing is missing. Yet my little wounded butterfly does the best it can with what it has….the wing will never magically grow back obviously…but life goes on. The sun is still warm on the butterfly’s wings, and the nectar of the flower still tastes sweet, so life is still good, right? Just a thought for all of us….

L.A.D.I.E.S.-Life after Divorce Is Eventually Sane April 15, 2009

Another one bites the dust....

I’ve been reading a little and hearing a lot this week about actor Mel Gibson’s wife Robyn, with whom he has nine(count ’em) kids, filing divorce papers. It is said that it will possibly be one of the most expensive divorces in Hollywood history. I guess so …they’ve been married 28 years….and there was evidently no pre-nup, so she gets half. And, of course, there are the pictures on the beach of the middle-aged Gibson, staring out pensively at the waves, while a young beauty in a bikini waits for him. Aaaahhhhh, it must be fabulous to be Mel.

It made me think of a group of women I met back in the 80s….we were doing a story about the ex-wives of famous men who had been dumped by their hubbies. They had formed a group called L.A.D.I.E.S…..which stood for “life after divorce is eventually sane.” We met Lynn Landon, ex-wife Michael Landon, then a big star from Bonanza, Little House on the Prairie, Highway to Heaven….and a number of others. Even with a nice fat divorce settlement, which not all of them got, life changes in big ways and little ones. You are no longer Mrs. Landon, as in…”oh, we have a wonderful table for you Mrs. Landon”, “I’ll bring the car right around for you Mrs. Landon”. You are now the ex….with all perks revoked. And some of them had to scrape for money.  It was interesting to hear their stories, of a life lost, but going on to find new ones, and sometimes, better ones.

Oh, and while I was in this apartment overlooking the Pacific(someone wasn’t doing too badly), I had this horrendous coughing fit. They all thought I was choking, and started holding my arms over my head, but I couldn’t stop coughing long enoughto get out that I really was ok, just give me a minute.  I don’t know if the group is still around…it was in 1994 when this article in People Magazine appeared….maybe today made up of new ex-wives who need a support group. Ladies, ladies, ladies…I guess Robyn Gibson could start it afresh, as she finds that indeed, life after divorce is eventually sane.