Money….the last taboo subject?

Remember when you would never, ever talk about sex? ( I know, I’m dating myself…) Today people openly joke about the subject and sometimes talk about their “dysfunction”. Or discussing menstruation…a ohmigod soooooo hush-hush subject 20 years ago….I remember sneaking into the bathroom as a kid to look at my Mother’s box of pads in the bathroom…there was something so forbidden about them….now you see ads on tv! 
 I think money remains the last real taboo in our society. Come on, do your friends talk about the fact that you’re living paycheck to paycheck, or falling behind on their bills, or  about how you’re gonna make your kid’s tuition payment, much less your next sack of groceries? Most of us, and I include myself, keep our finances to ourselves. That’s private right?  We like to maintain the facade for the world that, hey, it’s all good. We’re fine. No problemo. Sure, we can meet you for dinner at that expensive restaurant….what time?

And one must wonder… if either of  the men involved in murdering their entire families in the last week or two had been able to talk about what was really going on their lives, instead of maintaining the facade…would their families be alive? But that conversation is hard to have…with anyone.  “Honey, I’m really sorry….but things are changing, we don’t have to money to send you to this school…we may lose our house…I’m not the person you think I am.” Are those words hard to say? Yes.  For any of us.

Most of us here, who are covering and reporting on these horrific stories keep pondering it in our heads, just like all of you. Why on earth….I mean, why take your family with you….what on earth was going through their minds. It is so unfathomable, and their secret thought process go with them to the grave. Along with the innocents.

But if money is the precipitator of these terrible acts, maybe we all need to step back and wonder just how much our lifestyle, our things, our stuff, our money…means to us too. What would we do if we lost it? Start again…give up…drink too much…take it out on the kids? Some honest conversations need to be had in this country…parents and kids….”here’s where we are…we don’t have the money we used to. I’m sorry about it but here’s where we are going….there are uncharted waters ahead, but we are still a family. Yeah I’m scared by it, and I know you are too. But we will make it through this too, as a family. “

If that conversation could have been held, might those families be alive today? No one knows the answer. But we need to stop judging others and more importantly, ourselves, by our stuff and our bank accounts. We are more than that….. aren’t we?


8 Responses

  1. Donna,

    What a great blog today! Your thoughts on the two recent family incidents are so true. And it really makes you wonder if they had had the conversation…..My husband and I had the conversation this past Thanksgiving. While it was scary and hard to admit, we did what we had to do, prayed a lot and stuck together. We are now on the road to recovery. Is it going to magically improve overnight? No. But at least we realized there was a problem and have dealt with it.


  2. Donna,

    Very good blog entry.. You address some very very good points. One thing that I hadn’t really thought about is you and your fellow reporters go out to the scenes from these tragedies, which makes those scenes hit even harder emotionally for you all. You do have to wonder if indeed money is the last taboo subject. Those situations are so incredibly sad… and you have to ask “what if”. I’ve heard it said that out of many tragedies some good can come out. Maybe there will be lessons learned… That the point you bring up will hit home with someone… and save some lives!

  3. Fantastic blog today. You really struck a nerve. My husband and I are fortunate to have jobs but, nevertheless, have strictly cutback on our spending. It is embarrassing to say “no” to our friends when they ask us to dinner but it is the difference between us paying the gas & electric bill or not. Thank you very much for your blog. I think it will really help many of us open the dialogue. “You know, I was reading Donna Hamilton’s blog and she said . . . .”

  4. Yes. Simplify. Appreciate what we have and have the sense to know right from wrong. Let’s not over extend ourselves. I’ve had the expierience of having been broke, and having little. Company’s close, go bankrupt, and you tough it out. Hold your loved ones close and ALWAYS tell the truth. Please. You can’t be happy if your being selfish…with money, with time or with the happiness of others. How can someone take someone’s life? Amazing.

  5. Donna,
    Excellent blog!

  6. Donna, your blog today expresses EXACTLY what’s been on my mind the past few days! My wife and I have discussed this often since these events took place. My position is this…I’d rather keep my wife and my son (the most wonderful blessings in my life) than the possessions we have. God will not put us through anything we cannot handle, even though it may be tough!

    The key to it all is what you consider your worth to be measured in. I don’t measure my worth in dollars or my credit score, but how much my Heavenly Father loves me!

  7. Donna, excellent blog – I too wonder what these people were thinking when they took their family members lives and then their own. Times are tough now – people killed themselves during the Great Depression – did they take their families with them? I’d love to know why – why take your family with you?

  8. That’s a very good blog Donna. I think this economy is going to humble a lot of folks. So many have been used to the good life, and maybe too good sometimes. It’s so tragic to see families lives end in such a horrible way. I agree with what Tracy said. I think if we can change our priorities a little and put God and family first, over money, things will work out and we’ll get through this with a much better appreciation for our loved ones and life itself.

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