Back from ‘bama….tales of junk and romance….

See anything you want??

See anything you want??

I’m not gonna lie….it was 3 and half days of  somewhat grueling labor, physically and emotionally…moving my Mom to a single room in  “assisted living”. That said…it needed to be done…. my sisters were there to help and make it fun, we had a lot of laughs and a few tears, and bottom line, Momma is now where she needs to be.  Some of the larger pieces of furniture went into storage, temporarily, we promise ourselves, a few she’s using, and lots of others we gave away. But all the bric-a-brac, china, pots and pans, drawers full of old watches, thousands of pens, check stubs from 1995, old magazines, just …..the flotsam and jetsam of life….arrrrgh!!! Thursday night was the worst…my sister Jan and I standing in the apartment after getting Mom settled in her place, surrounded by mountains of stuff. Where to even begin….overwhelming.

Drawers full of keys to nothing, old watches, matches.....

Drawers full of keys, old watches, matches.....

 But we just started separating it..definite keeps, maybe keeps, and definite giveaway or Goodwill, and definite trash. And little by little by little, it all got done. I flew home mid day yesterday, and my sisters finished the rest of it yesterday…called last night giddy with relief, saying “It was the last load…we gave the keys back and it’s finished!”  It was so hard, truly it made me think about all the stuff in my house. If we were to die suddenly, I seriously don’t know what my kids would do….probably throw up their hands in disgust and walk away, or set a match to it all. Just kidding, but do you know what I mean?  It makes you think. At one point, My sister yelled over the phone to my husband, “There’s a lot of junk headed your way!!” She was laughing but she wasn’t kidding.

But, good news of romance blossoming ‘bama. My dear Father-in-law, who lost his wife(and the best Mother-in-law ever) several years ago, seems to have found love again, at the age of 80! I went out for lunch with him and his new sweetheart…he actually called her that…it was kinda odd, but lovely. And I do take a little ownership in this new relationship….he and I have talked about him one day, meeting someone he liked…even if it was just someone to go to dinner with or see a movie…companionship, you know. Anything else is just gravy. He told me about this woman who was taller than him, but they had spent time together as seat mates on a a church bus trip. And he wanted to see her but was unsure how to proceed. I advised him(advice for the lovelorn) to just casually ask if she wanted to meet at a restaurant for lunch one day…not a big date with a pickup…just lunch. And then meet for a movie one day. Very casual. And that was something he thought he could handle. And look where we are. He told me privately, “I think I’m falling in love..” with real wonder in his voice. And she told me, “I can’t believe out of all the women in the church, he picked me!” Isn’t it lovely to think that even at 80, life can hold surprises..good surprises…for us. Gives one hope for the future, doesn’t it?

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3 Responses

  1. The blue and white pot in the upper right hand corner is especially pretty. 🙂 Anyway… Donna, hang in there. I just turned 40 this past year, and have parents in their late 60’s. Still “young”, but Mom’s already had some health troubles (and may have to have shoulder replacement surgery), and both parents are on various meds. It has started to cross my mind that I do have to make sure that my future finances can handle helping to take care of them, should the need arise. We all go through this… Stay strong. Hang in there!!!

  2. There is such a difference between daughters and sons! When we went through this with my motherin-law (she was in the hospital at the time when we found out she could not return home), her sons swooped in and began clearing everything out…pictures, flotsam and jetsam, clothes, you name it..out the door it was headed. I stepped in and was able to rescue photographs, cookbooks and recipes written on yellowed paper, purses and some rosaries. My husband looked at me as if I were losing my mind. But when my mother-in-law was settled in to her new digs (the one room type your mom is in with limited space), I took her loose pictures scanned them into the computer and compiled them into one Shutterfly book. She loved it. It was alot of pictures that could be kept in a small space. We also gave copies to the other brothers for Christmas. The rosares I am holding onto fo when her granddaughters get married. And my husband has enjoyed tasting some of his childhood again. The boys didn’t think these were important but they are the threads of the past. Make sure your mom has some of those around her. And I hope she enjoys where she is living as much as my mother-in-law does. It really did reenergize her to make new friends, take her meals with others and attand the special things offered (like Bingo, Christmas Carolers, ect.) Once she settled in, it was the best thing that could have happened for her and us (as we did not have to worry if she took her medicine, ate a proper meal, was driving!, or neededd assistance in the middle of the night.)
    I echo the other commenter – stay strong!

  3. […] think I’m in love with her“…like he was 30, not 80. I wrote about that in a previous post-here. And Grace’s name was appropriate…she brought such light and grace to his life that no […]

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