Are you tough enough for hypermiling? Are you, punk?

The late comedian George Carlin, one of my all time favs for years, said this about driving…”Have you ever noticed anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone driving faster than you is a maniac?” Wow…says it all really, and even though I am implementing hypermiling techniques… which involve a more tolerant mindset about other people’s driving, there are still lots of idiots and maniacs on the road. I suspect I have now become…yes…one of the idiots.

My daughter would tell you that I was one (an idiot), long before hypermiling (techniques to get better that the advertised mileage out of your  vehicle). When she rides with me, and you have to picture this, when we’re traveling at a lower rate of speed than she deems appropriate, (as in most of the time), she makes breaststroke swimming motions with her arms, to help me get a little speed going. It’s so embarrassing. Yet, I must admit she gets her point across.

Now I’m not going to waste your time or give away the story by telling you the fine points of hypermiling here….if you’re interested you can watch Monday at 11 PM. But I will say this. You have to be able to take a little peer pressure if you want to hypermile. Here’s an example…let’s say there is a red light up ahead, so you as a hypermiler take your foot off the gas and just coast gently up to it. There will be, I guarantee you, one or two “zoom-zoom” drivers who will roar around you and rush up to the light…. where they throw on their brakes. It’s hilarious really.  “I hope you enjoyed wasting that half a gallon of gas sucker….and look where it got you. Sitting side by side with me at the red light!” Take that, haters….

You see what I’m getting at. So if you are daunted by other drivers who may think you’re an idiot…hmmm. Are you tough enough for hypermiling? Are you, punk?

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4 Responses

  1. Great post. I will read your posts frequently. Added you to the RSS reader.

  2. I heard that joke when I was a kid – my mom mentioned it – about idiots and maniacs. This is the first time I heard it again since then. I never knew where it came from.

    I like you example regarding the red lights. Hypermiling or not, I never quite understood why people didn’t do this anyway. I mean, it’s not like you save time by reaching the red light faster …

  3. GC was also one of my “favorites” I always quote that line
    ..I laugh at people when they do a .petal to the metal move and get no where..one day when I laugh… it might not be such a good idea…after all they’re MANIACS !!!!!!

  4. Great! I also love George Carlin’s work. I think he’s brilliant. To instigate and stir things up, make profound social and cultural statements, while making you roll on the floor laughing so hard tears come out and your gut hurts….amazing!

    Anyway, I suppose I am now officially an idiot. In my rush to start the car again when the light turns green, I have had it not start the first–even the second time! (Gulp.) I gotta remember all the times I was sitting behind the idiots and chuckle a bit now. Otherwise, doesn’t feel very good to be one of them…..

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